Want to try spanking? Make sure to follow these starting points so you can learn how to spank safely. It can be a dangerous activity if you’re not sure what you’re doing and it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Read on for my Beginners Guide to Spanking Safety.
Step One; Educating Yourself
There are some parts of the body that you should avoid spanking at all times. Hitting these areas can result in sometimes fatal damage. From here on out, these areas are going to be known as red areas.
Face – There are many sensitive areas on the face that can be easily damaged and left with permanent injuries. Avoid making contact with the face (including ears) at all times.
Neck – This is another absolute avoid area as it’s where many major arteries, glands and tendons are located.
Kidneys – Located in the area of the back between the bottom of the ribcage and the top of the buttocks. The kidneys are extremely delicate and it doesn’t take much to do some damage. I’m also going to include the Tailbone here, which is located at the base of the spine as this can be broken/cracked if hit.
Spine – In fact, I’m going to include the spine as a whole. It’s made up of disks that can become dislodged or impacted, which is extremely painful and definitely something you want to avoid.
Other red areas include the collar bones, fingers, toes, hip bones and any other joints where bone is close to the skin.
Yellow areas are places that can be spanked or flogged, but proceed with caution as these are still high risk locations that should only be touched upon with experience. These areas include hands, breasts, thighs, backs of calves and the chest.
Many opt for the buttocks or two areas of the upper back below the shoulder blades.
Notice how this list is much shorter? It’s very important to stick to the areas outlined as safe and work into the yellow areas if you wish after some time and experience.
Step Two; Safe Words
What is a safe word?
Simply put a safe word is a word that is used during a play session that means stop.
How do I choose a safe word?
Opt for something that you wouldn’t normally say during a session to avoid any confusion. My partner and I use the traffic light system as this has proved to be most affective for us. Red means stop, amber means I’m unsure so approach with caution and green means I’m fine with this, you can continue.
How is a safe word used?
It should be agreed before any sort of session that your chosen word will only be used in serious situations and all activity will stop immediately if either party says the word. Do not feel ashamed of needing to use your safe word, it’s in place to keep you feeling comfortable and able to enjoy the play.
What should I do if my partner uses their safe word?
Stop. Remove any restraints/put tools down. It is sometimes the best option to just take a time out and talk about what went wrong and what made you uncomfortable/want to stop. This will help your partner to understand what to do or more importantly, what not to do, next time.
Step Three; Technique
Start close and use tools that move further away as you progress. This basically means start out with fingers and hands, then gradually move up to tools that increase in distance. This way you will develop the necessary control to use them. Implements with further reach such as canes and bull whips will often be the last implement you learn to use, rather than one of the first things you reach for. I would not advise using either of these tools unless you have some spanking experience.
Practice before using your implement on a human. You could use a pillow to practise your aim and distance. If you don’t do this, you may not be able to control your chosen tool with precision, making it dangerous for yourself and the other person, increasing risk of injury. Until you can gauge your intensity, speed and area of impact, do not use the implement on your partner.
Start slowly, sudden, sharp hits without warm up strokes can do greater damage to the body and cause long-term harm. It’s very important during any kind of BDSM activity to warm-up and work your way up from the bottom. Start with softer taps/flogs and work up gradually to harder ones. Your partner is much more likely to enjoy this and want the session to continue. As the taps progress, the blood will start to rise to the surface, increasing the tolerance of the person being spanked.
Remember, too many hits in one place can become extremely painful. Alternate your target and frequency and always make sure the area of impact has recovered before moving onto a harsher implement. Always use the lighter implement first and work up to the heaviest. The harsher your tool, the more likely your partner will bruise. This is nothing to be concerned about, but if they’re not ready for long-lasting marks, stick to something softer until they are.
Improper technique can result in:
- Nerve damage
- Fractured or broken bones
- Ruptured organs
Proper technique still could result in:
Make sure to check in with your partner regularly and make sure they’re happy for you to continue. Communication is very important during this kind of play. Watch out for your partner’s body language also as this will tell you things that their words may not. If they flinch or move after a hit, it’s possible it was a little too sharp, ask them if they want you to decrease the force a little before delivering the next.
Step Four; Aftercare
Aftercare is a very important part of any play session. After a session with the kinky or hitty toys, take care of your partners physical, mental and emotional health by engaging in some aftercare. My partner and I have actually made our own aftercare kit and find this comes in handy after a particularly rough session. You can tailor your kit to your situation, the type of play you’re engaging in and your partner, but here are a few suggestions.
What to put in an aftercare kit:
- Water bottle – I often find myself dehydrated during a play session. A small snack may also be useful. I don’t do this, but it’s something that many people do keep close by.
- First Aid Kit – Just incase anything has gone wrong, it can be taken care of quickly.
- Blanket – I often feel cold after a session and the rush has worn off.
- Wet wipes – Great for cleaning up if necessary.
- Cleaner – We always clean our impact tools after use with antibacterial cleaner or wipes.
- Some sort of soothing product – We rather like the Fifty Shades After Spanking Cream, but have also used sudocrem, body butter, aloe vera or a soothing lotion of some description. You could even use a heat pack/ice pack if you wish.
- A cuddle – I like to spend some time with my partner by having a cuddle or back rub after a session. It makes me feel protected and cared for, so this is the most important one for me.