Our Latest Pleasure Panel Reviews for August 2017!

As you may know, we have been part of Cara Sutra’s Pleasure Panel for a while now so I thought I would start posting snippets of our reviews here so people can catch up on what we’ve been reviewing elsewhere. In August, we received three products to review for the Pleasure Panel.

Wicked Aqua Pink Lemonade Flavoured Lubricant

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The first product we reviewed this month was the Wicked Aqua Pink Lemonade Flavoured Lubricant. We love trying new lubricants and this one was definitely a hit for us. Its one of my partners favourites and his most requested choice at the moment. Here is a short extract from our review: “He finds many flavoured lubricants artificial and tacky in taste, but he said that this one was more subtle, less chemical and pretty spot on with what it was supposed to taste like.”

Wicked Creme Masturbation Cream

The second product we reviewed this month was another from the brand Wicked. This time it was the Creme Masturbation Cream. A coconut oil, silicone and water based mix that sounded like it wouldn’t work in theory, but definitely did in practice. Here’s a short snippet from the full review: “He feels that the Wicked Crème Masturbation Cream provides a smooth, easy-sailing slip and slide that lasts much longer than any lubricating product he has used in the past.”

We-Vibe Wish

Last but not least, we tried out the We-Vibe Wish. I was most excited for this one as it’s no secret that I adore this brand. It took me on somewhat of a journey and is one of a handful of exceptions to my ‘I hate patterned vibrations’ tendencies. Here’s a preview: “All ten settings are patterned and as these are settings I tend to avoid I thought I’d ended up with something unusable. That was until I discovered the PowerPulse settings, the first three modes on the We-Vibe Wish.”

Huge thanks to Cara Sutra for allowing us to take part in August’s Pleasure Panel Round and an additional thank you to the companies who sent in the products for testing. If you are a member of the Pleasure Panel or would like to be, be sure to check out Cara’s Patreon and pledge what you can!

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Hard Limits – Oh Toe You Don’t

Ah, foot fetishes. A topic that can turn a conversation into a debate. Some people love this fetish, some hate it, some feel indifferent and some are confused. I think this goes with most fetishes and kinks, but I’ve found that people have a lot of thoughts on feet in particular. In this post, I’m going to be talking about the reasons behind this fetish being a hard limit for me, my thoughts on the fetish in general and sharing a bit of a rant about kink shaming.

Foot Fetishes - LimitsI’ve never really liked feet. I don’t know what it is about them, but I just don’t like them. I know there are a lot of others out there who feel the same as I do and that’s totally fine. We all have areas of the body that we aren’t too keen on. I just so happen to be freaked out by feet/toes and belly buttons. No logical explanations for either are known to me. I take care of my own feet, regarding clipping and painting my nails, with the occasional foot bath here and there, but I insist on making those ‘pampering’ sessions go by as quickly as possible. Would I go to a spa and get a professional pedicure? Absolutely not. It’s bad enough that I have to touch my own feet. I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone else doing so. I’d rather get a facial or back massage any day.

If it was possible for toenails to clip and paint themselves and soles to apply lotion to their cracked skin without assistance, I’d be made up. Unfortunately, the human body has not evolved that far. So whilst I may be uncomfortable, I’ll deal with my feet to remain clean and fresh. That’s as far as my relationship with my feet will ever go. I’m certainly not interested in touching, treating or tending to anyone else’s, so my toe contact is limited to about once a week. I can cope with this. I couldn’t cope with someone wanting to touch my feet, hold my feet, massage my feet, suck my toes etc. It has been asked of me before and it’s always been a straight up no.

Looking back, I remember feeling harsh for having to completely reject all aspects of a person’s fetish as I’m usually quite open to experimenting, but I’ve realized that I shouldn’t feel bad for having limits. This fetish is one that I don’t feel I could ever budge on, just because of the way that I feel about feet, and luckily for me, this does not interest my long-term partner. If he hypothetically did have a thing for feet, I’d want him to find someone he could explore that with, even if it meant letting him go. We all deserve to be with partners that we are sexually compatible with for the most part.

I may not ever completely understand the old foot fetish, but I respect that this kink is not my kink. It works for a lot of people as is evident by the reports that show that this is one of the most common fetishes around. It might still be a taboo topic for some, but it’s a genuine source of enjoyment for others. My thoughts are this; as long as the foot fetishist doesn’t creepily approach unwilling strangers to satisfy their kink (because this happens more than I’d like it to), purposely cross over someone’s boundaries or limits or hurt someone, then I think we should be happy for them. They’ve found what works for them and that’s a great thing.

I’ve read posts on a few forums about people not wanting to communicate with their partner in relation to this fetish. The most common reason behind this is the fear of being judged or branded as strange. I don’t think that’s fair. What one person might find strange could be vanilla to someone else. Sexual preferences are exactly that, preferences. We shouldn’t talk badly about someone else’s or make them feel insecure for liking something that we don’t. If feet are your thing, good for you. I hope you find someone you can communicate this with openly and honestly, without fears.

Limits – A Firm No to Rape Play

StopI’m starting a new blog series. This one is going to be all about our sexual limits, boundaries and the reasons behind them. I decided to start with my hardest limit, one that is firmly placed in my red zone, a place it will never move from. Most of my limits are within the orange realm, so are subject to change, but this one is not up for discussion.

When my partner and I first got together, I opened up to him about a sexual assault and rape that I experienced when I was younger. He was great about it. He was happy to take everything at my pace and sat with me through the many panic attacks that happened during our first sexual encounters. As a result of what I encountered, I find this a touchy subject and I completely understand others will too. It’s not something I was ever going to talk about here but I decided to write about this subject when I heard a podcast that the wonderful Kink Craft did discussing it.

I like to think of myself as an open-minded Person and a firm advocate of doing whatever you want as long as along parties involved are consenting. This excludes illegal acts of course. As a result, I wanted to understand this sort of play more in the hopes of getting some answers and being more accepting of it. So that’s exactly what I did. Through the research I’ve done over the past few months, i can now (sort of) understand the attraction to consensual non consent.

The feeling of having the control being taken away from you but knowing you have that safety net of being able to stop at the drop of a safe word. That is something I can relate to. My partner and I have explored elements of this within bondage. An adrenaline rush that comes through control play can be very exciting, but I draw the line at consensual non consent when it’s in the form of a roleplay rape. I feel like I would have said it’s not healthy for anyone to do this a few years ago, but now I think it’s fine as long as all the safety precautions are in place, such as safe words and signals, aftercare and trust.

I am still very much affected by my experiences and struggle to cope with it on a daily basis, even ten + years later. I still receive treatment and there are days where I can’t even consider being intimate with a partner, let alone actually following through with it. Sometimes I think I’m going to be fine but fall apart the second we get between the sheets. It can be tough, but this is exactly why I could never engage in rape play. I’m still dealing with the aftermath so something like this would do more harm than good.

What I found when I researched was interesting. The amount of survivors that use this type of play as a form of taking back control. I give these people huge props, because this is something I couldn’t do. Turning something traumatic like that, into a situation where you have all the power over the outcome, is actually very smart and important to recovery, regardless of how you choose to do it. I’m doing a similar sort of thing with this blog, I’m reclaiming my sexuality and learning that sex doesn’t have to be painful or harmful, it can actually be lots of fun.