Let’s Talk: Don’t Feel Guilty

I have no problems writing negative reviews. If I were a manufacturer and my product sucked, even if it hurt my ego, I’d want to be told. I’d want to take the feedback on board and fix the problems to improve my product. If you’re a company that can’t handle negative feedback and have to pay people to say great things about your product, you can’t have much faith in what you’re trying to sell. If you don’t believe your product is amazing, why should I?

When I first began reviewing, I wasn’t very descriptive in what I wrote and felt guilty if I didn’t like a product that everybody else loved. I probably rated things higher than I should have because I didn’t want to sound like I was being petty with things that bugged me about the product. Now, I don’t care how I sound, I want people to know why I didn’t like it, so they can make their own choices about whether the same things would irritate them. I’ve discovered lots of people share my gripes about noise, buzziness and bad quality items and I’ve become comfortable with dishing out criticism. My aim is to be constructive and let people know what I want and how I want it, which is exactly how I act in my sex life with my partner. If you don’t communicate, you end up stuck doing the same shitty routine that does nothing for you.

I suppose it started with materials, once I’d learnt about the dangers of Jelly Rubber and other porous toys, it helped me to understand why I couldn’t enjoy using toys made from these materials. I understood why I felt a burning sensation, why it hurt and why it wasn’t pleasurable in the slightest. If I was buying my first sex toy now, I’d want to read about the  downsides of choosing a toy in a certain material. When I ordered my first vibrator, it had no reviews, it was just featured on the popular page of a site and I thought that meant I’d enjoy it. After all, if it’s popular, it can’t be bad, right? Wrong. These toys are often popular because they’re cheap, not because they’re good quality or safe to use. After a couple of months wondering why I had such a bad experience, I found the bloggers of the industry and wondered how on earth I could have not known. I didn’t even know the sex toy industry wasn’t regulated until I started reading through blogs!

So out those toys went and in came, slightly more costly, body-safe toys. There’s no phthalates, foul odour or leaking chemicals, nothing that should give me an infection or bad reaction, it’s just a clean slate. A trust worthy canvas. So now I have to look for other things that explain why a toy won’t work for me, sometimes it’s really obvious and sometimes it isn’t. It’s interesting to read reviews and share opinions with other people who’ve experienced the same toy, there might be a way you haven’t tried to use it yet that turns out to be the answer to all of your questions or they may share the same feelings you have, indicating that the problem is the toy.

Noise in particular is subjective, what may be quiet for some, could be loud for others, it depends on many factors. I live at home, in a semi-detached house with thin walls, so I can’t use my wand in the middle of the night as I’ll wake everybody up, however if you live in a farm-house in the middle of nowhere, the chances are, you’re not going to be too concerned about waking up the neighbours. (If you even have any!) If you relate to my situation, we probably share similar opinions about what classes as noisy. For me, it’s if the neighbours can hear or the TV can’t drown it out. This doesn’t mean a toy is bad, it just means it’s not the right one for me.

The purpose of this post is to encourage everyone to be completely honest about the product you’re reviewing. Talk about the things that a product description can’t tell you. Talk about why it worked for you, or more importantly, why it didn’t. Share your experiences. If you don’t feel the toy is a good fit for you, who might it be good for? Don’t feel guilty for not liking something that other people raved about or for leaving constructive feedback, your review could help someone just like you to save money and more importantly, buy a toy that they will really loveHonesty is always the best policy.

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2 Replies to “Let’s Talk: Don’t Feel Guilty”

  1. supercutesecret

    Hey, I can’t see a like button, so I’ll leave a comment instead 🙂 totally agree about when you start, you’re a bit more lenient about what you will criticise, but after a while, you realise to just let all those nit-picky things matter, because those same nit-picky things might matter to someone else too!

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