Review: Coco de Mer Teach Me A Lesson Spanking Ruler 

Coco de Mer Teach Me a Lesson Spanking RulerIf you read my review for the Fifty Shades of Grey Ruler, you will already know that I absolutely adored the sensations that it gave and was hoping to find something similar. It didn’t take me long to come across this Coco de Mer edition, which features a cheeky ‘Teach Me a Lesson’ scribble on the back.

All packages from Coco de Mer are picked and packed in the Lovehoney warehouse, so be assured that it will be completely and utterly discreet. I have to admit that I was disappointed that there was no actual outer packaging for the product, other than the burgundy tissue paper that Coco de Mer use to wrap your entire order individually. I usually encourage no-frills packaging on cheaper items, but Coco is a luxury brand and company, so I expected that theme to continue throughout. A lovely storage bag wouldn’t have gone amiss either.

The ruler appears to be well-made and of the quality I would expect, it’s perhaps a little rougher than the other ruler that we have, but it’s smooth enough, particularly around the edges to be comfortable. It’s made from a sturdy, lightweight wood and features measurements on the front like a regular ruler would, in both cm’s and inches. I wouldn’t say that it’s completely accurate or to scale, so I wouldn’t go around trying to measure things with it, but for the visual effect, it’s great. It features Coco de Mer branding on the front and Teach Me A Lesson on the back as I mentioned earlier. It’s also available with the words ‘Spank You Very Much‘ if this saying doesn’t float your boat.

My partner and I have gotten into more aggressive/advanced spanking activities over the last few months, so silicone and wooden spanking implements have become some of our favourite tools of choice. I find that these materials are the harshest and generally the best for leaving red marks, scratches, faint bruising and a stingy sensation when you sit down the next day. If you like all of those, then I think you’re in luck because as I expected, this ruler ticks all of those boxes. It has the potential to take me out of my comfort zone, but there’s something about that which excites me.

Before we use this ruler, we generally start out with something softer. I think warm up is really important when playing with bondage and it’s something that we do every time spanking takes place. I am a fan of skin on skin contact before an implement is used as this just warms up the area and puts me in the right head space to take the hits from something harsher. Once I am ready, my partner begins with gentle taps followed by direct, stronger thwacks. I like this sort of tool to be used alongside a flogger as the different sensations keep me guessing and the floggers hits are generally softer which breaks up the tougher spanks from the ruler.

I think hits from a ruler like this one feel much more precise than spanks I’ve received from wooden paddles, because it’s a slimmer, longer implement and the small surface area only covers a specific area of the bottom when spanking. It stings more than the crops that I have, so I’m glad I didn’t rush in with a product like this as I probably would be more reluctant to continue spanking practices if I had. It doesn’t take much force to get a very satisfying sting and a highly enticing slapping sound. I have been left with some marks after a session, but none that last longer than a couple of days and nothing that some aftercare couldn’t handle.


Overall, it’s an exciting piece of kit to use during sex and role-play, particularly for student/teacher scenarios and we both really enjoy the sessions where this product comes out to play. It’s not as luxurious as I’d hoped for considering its branding though.

We purchased the Teach Me A Lesson Spanking Ruler (£12) from Coco de Mer. This item has since been discontinued. No affiliate links have been used within this post.

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